Of course, this won’t really be live since the show airs on the East Coast at 5 tonight. But, nonetheless, we’ll try to “live” blog our impressions of opening night for you.

No, there won’ t be any Spoilers tonight (even though I’ll probably know what happened pretty much by the time the show airs in good, old PST).

More than likely the most interesting thing, or make that person, tonight will be Steven Tyler. We’ll do a running count of the number of BLEEPS he receives. If we were in Vegas I’d say the over/under on that would be about five since he was outta control early on during his national conference call yesterday. And the ratings ought to be news. You know the Idol powers-that-be will be watching those very closely since it’s a pivotal season for the show.

So, we’ll kick back, listen to a little Archuleta CD for the next couple of hours and get ready. Sorta like Opening Day in baseball. If you happen to read this during the show feel free to make comments, we’ll post them. And if you have questions, fire away, we’ll try to get an answer for you.

A little over two hours until:

“Thhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssss is American Idol!” Here we go.

First the scoreboard: Tyler bleeps – 2 in the opening 10-minute segment.

Spent most of it telling us how good JLo and Tyler and RJ are gonna be and how qualified they are for the gig. No news on how they were selected or if they kinda sorta didn’t want the gig anyway.

Nothing else unexpected. Got to see Jimmy Iovine who will offer the winner a deal on his record label. But nothing we haven’t seen in the past nine years at one time or another and no breaking news.

We move on…

Here are the first three contestants highlighted:

Rachel Zevita, 22, N.Y., “Hallelujah.” She tried out in season 6. Got through cause they felt she deserved another chance. Really?

Caleb Hawley, 25, N.Y. “I Just Love You So.” Kind of a bluesy-soul voice. Never thought he would go through, but they gave him a chance. It might pay off.

Kensey Palmer, 15, West Middlesex, Pa. Reluctantly Tyler said yes and off she goes to Hollywood.

All three made it through to Hollywood. Then a bunch of winners were shown and finally came a reject:

Achille Lovie, 25, Ivery Coast, “Dress You Up.”

JLo talked about how hard it was to say no. Tyler seems to be stealing the show. Clips are so, so typical – winners jumping up and down; losers rather upset. What else is new.

We move on…

Next segment focuses on two candidates:

Tiffany Rios, 21, Morris Plains, N.J. Tiffany is the obligatory Jersey Shore candidate who idolizes JLo. They put her through for no good reason. Too much. too much with the stars on the bra. Stay home Tiffany, but, alas..

Then came Robbie Rosen, 16, Merrick, N.Y. “Yesterday.” He was wheelchair-bound at an early age but isn’t there now. The panel loved him but I just don’t know why. Not bad, but not good enough to move on.

No bleeps for Steven.. not a good

thing…We move on…

First hours ends with one more..

Chris Cordeiro, 18, North Arlington, N.J. “My Way.” He fits the nerd stereotype to a T with the outfit, the Boy Scout background and the bad voice. Needless to say he didn’t make it.

What was interesting was the lead-in getting comments from the kids on which judge they wanted to meet. One called JLo “stunning” (right on the money there); another said she wanted to meet Ellen (oops); and several girls gasped at the opportunity to see Tyler and he didn’t look like he would turn any of them down. It was kinda of an interesting segment.

More coming…

Michael Perroto, 19, Worcester, Mass. “Proud Mary.” Showed him burping prior to the audition. Tyler had the best line of the night: “Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?” he asked. Michael got the boot.

Ashley Sullivan, 25, Springfield, Mass. “Gimme, Gimme.” Showed Ashley coming out of the john prior to her audition. She cried, she pleaded, got through on quirkiness and a cutesy personality. Won’t go far at all. A voice you just wouldn’t want to hear much … if at all.

More on the way…

Victoria Huggins, 16, Lumberton, N.C. “Midnight Train to Georgia.” Amazingly annoying little girl with a southern accent and pixie personality. Got through, won’t get far.

Melina Ademi, 16, Yonkers, “If I Ain’t Got You.” OK voice, sob story refugee from Kosovo. Did not deserve to advance.

End of Day 1…

Devon Rush, 20, New Hope, Pa. “God Bless The Child.” A singing waitress. Finally, someone who can actually sing. She sets some good advice especially from JLo on how to go forward. First one who could be in Top 10.

Some shots of misfits and then, yes, finally, three quick bleeps for Steven. Total: 5 with 30 minutes to go.

First up is Yoji “Pop” Asani, 25, Japan “Party in the U.S. A. A Miley Cyrus song with a distinctive Michael Jackson performance sung mostly in Japanese. I’m confused and I don’t even know if they put him through or not. Hopefully, not.

Next was a montage of bad singers doing their bad song and we headed into the homestretch.

Brielle Von Hugel, 16, Staten Island, N.Y. “Endless Love.” Next-to-last sob story. Dad has throat cancer. She makes it through. Good voice, possible advancing potential.

We go to break and Ryan says, “We are down to our final contestant of the day and everything is on the line.” OMG. And now we get the obligatory sunset picture over Jersey. More on all of this later.

Travis Orlando, 16, Bronx, N.Y. “Elenor Rigby.” The obligatory show-ending sob story. Family lived in a shelter for awhile. Decent, nothing special. Got through, but didn’t deserve it. Back-story got him through. That’s why.

51 received gold tickets to Hollywood and Thursday night we move on to New Orleans.